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RFC 5150

Network Working Group                                        D. Pemberton
Request for Comments: 5150 Ascend Communications
29 March 1999

A Standard for the Transmission of high quality Alcoholic Beverages to
areas with sub-standard Alcohol production

Status of this Memo

This memo describes an experimental method for the transmission of
alcoholic beverages to areas with sub-standard beverage production. This
specification is primarily useful in cases where a user has relocated to a
country where the beer tastes like yesterdays dish water. This is an
experimental, not recommended standard. Distribution of this memo is
unlimited, and comments are welcome.

Overview and Rational

It would seem that there are areas of the planet that have extremly
substandard alcoholic beverage (refered to as Beer) production. Studies
have shown that certain behavourial problems can manifest themselves in
indivduals who have transitted from an area of high quality Beer production
to an area of extreme low quality Beer production. These individuals are
prone to anxity and depression if quanties of high quality Beer can not be
supplied on a regular basis. This document provides the framework for a
system to handle the transmission of high quality Beer to individuals in
low quality Beer effected areas.

Frame Format

As the MTU for Beer through most international customs centers is quite low,
a high degree of fragmentation is used. Once the Beer has been purchased in
its native country, normally in packet sizes of 6, 12 or occasionally the
Giant packet of 24 (also known as a Slab Packet), it is fragmented up into
individual datagrams (or cans).

The datagrams (or cans) then have an appropriate header attached to them.
It is normal to use printed sticky labels for this purpose.

The header format is as follows.

|Name of Recipient (4bytes) |
|street number(2)| street (2) |
|Suburb (4) |
|City (4) |
|Country Code (2)|PostCode (2) |

Appropriatly encapsulated cans can now be handed to a lower OSI layer for
delivery. Generally the POSTBOX or COURIER layer 2 networks are used. But
SMUGGLING has been rumoured to have a larger MTU size, but is prone to data
loss due to strict error checking by the network.

Upon receipt, the header is removed, the can is unencapsulated and the Beer
is passed to the higher MOUTH layer.

Pemberton [Page 1]

RFC 5150 Transmission of high quality Beer 29 March 1999

Security Considerations

Security is a consideration with transporting Beer to areas that have strict
Beer transmission policies. Data encryption techniques should be employed
in these circumstances. A certain ammount of success has been reported
with BeerSec encryption. BeerSec encryption requires the application of an
additional header onto the Beer datagram. Example headers are shown below.

"This is not a beer!"
"Roll-on Deoderant"
"Look over there - Elvis!"

Author's Address

Dean Pemberton
Ascend Communications
Level 38, 55 Collins Street
Melbourne, VIC 3000

Phone: +61-3-9656-7000